1 week ago
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
1. Debra Winger was the voice of E.T.
2. Pearls melt in vinegar.
3. The three most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca-Cola, and Budweiser, in that order.
4. It's possible to lead a cow upstairs, but not downstairs.
5. Humans are the only primates that don't have pigment in the palms of their hands.
6. Ten percent of the Russian government's income comes from the sale of vodka.
7. The sentence "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter in the alphabet. (Developed by Western Union to test telex/two communications.)
8. The only 15-letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is "uncopyrightable."
9. "Stewardesses" is the longest word that is typed with only the left hand.
10. No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.
11. A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.
12. The reason firehouses have circular stairways is from the days of yore when the engines were pulled by horses. The horses were stabled on the ground floor and figured out how to walk up straight staircases.
13. The airplane Buddy Holly died in was the "American Pie" (thus the name of the Don McLean song).
14. 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
15. Clans of long ago that wanted to get rid of their unwanted people without killing them used to burn their
houses down - hence the expression "to get fired."
16. Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, 1776: John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until five years later.
17. An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
18. The longest recorded flight of a chicken is thirteen seconds.
19. The name "Jeep" came from the abbreviation used in the army for the "General Purpose" vehicle, G.P.
20. The highest point in Pennsylvania is lower than the lowest point in Colorado.
21. Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously.
22. If you have three quarters, four dimes, and four pennies, you have $1.19. You also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.
23. All of the clocks in the movie "Pulp Fiction" are stuck on 4:20.
24. The only two days of the year in which there are no professional sports games (MLB, NBA, NHL, or NFL) are the day before and the day after the Major League All-Star Game.
25. Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.
26. The mask used by Michael Myers in the original "Halloween" was actually a Captain Kirk mask painted white.
27. If you put a raisin in a glass of champagne, it will keep floating to the top and sinking to the bottom.
28. Snails can sleep for three years without eating.
29. Actor Tommy Lee Jones and Vice President Al Gore were freshman roommates at Harvard.
30. The fingerprints of koala bears are virtually indistinguishable from those of humans, so much so that they
could be confused at a crime scene.
31. Any month that begins on a Sunday will always have a Friday the 13th.
32. James Doohan, who played Lt. Commander Montgomery Scott on Star Trek, was missing the entire middle finger of his right hand.
33. The Eisenhower interstate system requires that one mile in every five must be straight. These straight sections are usable as airstrips in times of war or other emergencies.
34. There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
He is 1/3 Ilama, 1/3 Turtle and 1/3 Squirrel!
So this past week my team at work did an activity where we wrote a short story that included random words, interesting plots, creative names and changes and alternate endings... here are the stories we came up with....
English is so Overrated
Long time ago a baby was born but something was not right, he looked ok and walked
okay but he has problems speaking. Jose cannot arrange his words in the right order.
His speech even more complicated to understand than Yoda, which is his beloved dog.
While he is slurping his soup, he would drool all over the place. When he makes a
calculation, he would say = 3 1 2 plus.
He asked his dog for advice on how to overcome his problem. His dog told him to go
to school. So during the Fall, he applied at special school and learned how to speak
using foods in sentences. He learned to say, “I eat vegetables” and “meat is unhealthy”
and “mashed potatoes are good” and “dessert is delicious” and “I love peas and carrots.”
Somehow, he still could not get his sentences right.
Hector, one of his classmates, has a stuttering problem. But he would make fun of Jose
because he still could not get his sentences right. He would taunt him by saying “has
sauce pizza”.
One day, he met a girl, Bella, as he saw her playing a banjo which got his attention. So to
flirt with her, he pulled out his loose toenail and gave it to her as a token of his love. In
return, she gave him her prized umbrella and they fell in love. After they started talking,
he learned to speak Spanish fluently without having all the words jumbled up.
They decided to get married and created a spreadsheet with the best wedding locations.
They even had Justin Bieber sing in their wedding. They moved to Mexico and lived
happily ever after.
Alternate ending:
On one particular day, he said something in English to her which she misunderstood that
ended their relationship. Instead of saying “I don’t want this love to end,” he said “Want
this love to end, don’t I.” He should’ve stucked with speaking Spanish. English is
overrated.
Bananarama
Many years ago, in a land far away lived and evil ogre named Spongejetta-rella who liked
to cook EVERYTHING with banana. She would make banana bread, banana pudding,
banana splits, banana cupcakes, banana peppers and banana on the cob. Spongejetta-rella
loved bananas so much that she even took regular showers with them.
One day out of the blue, a giant PINK monkey fell from a nearby tree into Spongejetta-rella’s yard. He
shook him self off and took a few calculating steps towards Spongejetta-rella’s house.
Suddenly from around his waist jumped out a giant frog. The frog said…I would love to
have a banana fro-yo right now. The monkey lead the frog towards Spongejetta-rella’s
house and they knocked on the door. Spongejetta-rella opened the door and welcomed
them in. “Do you have a banana fro-yo?” the frog said. “No I don’t! But I do have banana
spaghetti, banana pancakes, banana fried chicken, banana chips and dried banana.” “That
sounds perfect” said the frog, “Do you think you could blend all of that into a smoothie
“SURE!” she said and handed it to him. SLURPPPPPPPPPPPPP went the frog! Now I
can take over the world the frog said! Just then like magic, the frog leaped into the air
and became… a giant evil canevil mosquito so big that he took the roof off Spongejetta-
rella’s house with his wings. “Whatever shall we do?” said the pink monkey as he
cowered in the corner. All of a sudden, a Massive crack opened in the ground and water
started gushing out from it shooting the mosquito/frog into oblivion. “Thank goodness
for the Crack of Andy” they cried! Spongetta-rella and the pink monkey were so happy
that they decided to invite their friends Umbrella, Channing Tatum, Toenail, Banjo and
Spreadsheet over for a party! They ate and drank banana floats all night. And they all
lived happily ever after…the end!
Alternate ending:
While they were enjoying their fun banana limbo game, away in the bushes the mosquito
frog watched them planning his attack. Suddenly he frolicked out of the bushes and tried
to eat them all…just like a ninja, Channing Tatum sprung into action and sprayed the
mosquito frog with Mervyn’s love scent and they all watched as he shriveled up and
died…and they all lived happily ever banana-after.
Why Mervyn’s accounting teacher does not know about EBDIT
In the beginning, there was a person named ED-BITSs. ED-BITSs was an oil
spill worker who enjoyed slurping slurpees while calculating the oil gushing
speed.
One day, he fell into the oil slick and met a talking mermaid. The mermaid was
a third fish, third human, and a third camel. ED-BITs fell in love with this camel
mutated freak and gasped at her stunning beauty. Shaquaia was her name.
She kind of resembled lady gaga but on a good day when she was less covered
in oil and did not smell like a fishy camel. So ED-BITs asked Shaquaia what she
liked to eat and she said pizza, tuna sandwhich, hay, plankton, and cabbage. So
ED-BITs made his new friend a hay and plankton slurpee. Then one day, an evil
force splashed by and it was the BP sasquatch. The BP Sasquatch also ate hay
and plankton sandwiches, but he also liked to eat camel/human/fish beings. So
ED-BITs tried to protect Shaquaia by shouting “Lilongwe Lilongwe.”
Which was supposed to scare off the BP sasquatch, but it did not work because
it was only a myth. And the BP sasquatch started laughing at ED-BITs banjo
and umbrella t-shirt. Oh, the BP sasquatch had no toenails… Suddenly, ED-
BITs used a spreadsheet to calculate how he could beat the BP sassquatch. But
that did not work. Luckily, President Obama was out fishing with Cher and when
he found out about ED-BITs ordeal, he just called Washington and asked for a
nuclear strike on the BP Sasquatch. That worked…. Then ED-BITS told Pres.
Obama a joke he said…knock knock! President Obama said who is there? ED-
BITS said well we both know BP sassquatch is not there…hahahahahahahah
Ending 1: In conclusion ED-BITS was so happy for the oil spill because if it was
not for the spill, he would have never met Shaquaia.
Alternate Ending:
Foolishly ED-BITs was sad because he realized that he could not live
with a human fish camel thing and continue calculating oil gushing speeds with
better accuracy than the BP corporation even though his computer kept freezing
up and crashing.
;;
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
