Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Cuteness Time







Pupcakes!

      



Monday, December 28, 2009

Make It Stop!



"Good news is that I truly out did myself this year with my Christmas decorations. The bad news is that I had to take him down after 2 days. I had more people come screaming up to my house than ever. Great stories. But two things made me take it down.

First, the cops advised me that it would cause traffic accidents as they almost wrecked when they drove by.

Second, a 55 year old lady grabbed the 75 pound ladder almost killed herself putting it against my house and didn't realize it was fake until she climbed to the top (she was not happy). By the way, she was one of many people who attempted to do that. My yard couldn't take it either. I have more than a few tire tracks where people literally drove up my yard."


Tuesday, December 1, 2009

TV Shows

For now, these are my shows... for now!



Friday, November 6, 2009

Cat and Deer...


Tuesday, November 3, 2009

kitty, wake up!



Thursday, October 29, 2009

Friday, October 23, 2009


Monday, October 5, 2009

A Bottle of Wine



For all of us who are married, were married, wish you were married, or wish you weren't married, this is something to smile about the next time you see a bottle of wine.

Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road.

As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride.

With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car.

Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman. The old Woman just sat silently, looking intently at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Sally.

'What in bag?' asked the old woman.

Sally looked down at the brown bag and said, 'It's a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband.'

The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two.

Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said: 'Good trade.'

Bach duo

Tuesday, September 29, 2009


Monday, September 28, 2009

Friday, September 25, 2009

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

...

I'm feeling VERY negative...
And I love it...
So leave me alone.
Oh and p.s. don't try to figure out why.
You're just wasting your time.
Don't think you know what I want for my future, cuz ya don't.
I don't want what you want.
I want what I want
Oh... and p.p.s. go cry in your little corner about your sappy little life...

And my awesome one...
It's sucks... I know...
Thanks.
Oh, btw...
Sorta hate you....
Your mom...
And your mom's face!
Happy Thoughts!

Awesome Videos

Monday, September 21, 2009

So Cute...

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Mermaid or Whale

Recently, in a large French city, a poster featuring a young, thin and tan woman appeared in the window of a gym. It said: THIS SUMMER DO YOU WANT TO BE A MERMAID OR A WHALE?

A middle aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman on the poster, responded publicly to the question posed by the gym.

To Whom It May Concern:

Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious humans). They have an active sex life, they get pregnant and have adorable baby whales. They have a wonderful time with dolphins stuffing themselves with shrimp. They play and swim in the seas, seeing wonderful places like Patagonia, the Barren Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia. Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs. They are incredible creatures and virtually have no predators other than humans. They are loved, protected and admired by almost everyone in the world.

Mermaids don't exist. If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the offices of Argentinean psychoanalysts due to identity crisis. Fish or human? They don't have a sex life because they kill men who get close to them not to mention how could they have sex? Therefore they don't have kids either. Not to mention who wants to get close to a girl who smells like a fish store?

The choice is perfectly clear to me; I want to be a whale.

P.S. We are in an age when media puts into our heads the idea that only skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice cream with my kids, a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver and a coffee with my friends. With time we gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room it distributes out to the rest of our bodies. So we aren't heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy. Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think, good gosh, look how smart I am.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Riddle Time!

1. Feed me and I live. Give me drink and I die.

What am I?

2. How could I place a book bag on the floor where no one could jump over it?

3. What is:

The beginning of eternity

The end of time and space

The beginning of every end

And the end of every place

4. What is so delicate that when you say its name it is broken?

5. What was the tallest mountain before Mount Everest was discovered?

6. How many letters are in the alphabet?

7. What state is surrounded by the most water?

8. What is the situation?

I am afraid to go home because the man in the mask is there…

9. You are lost and alone in the woods. You stumble across an old cabin and decide to stay there for the night. You want some heat and light, but the only things you find in the cabin are a candle, an oil lamp, and a wood burning stove. You look in your pocket, but you only have one match left. What do you light first?

10. The word CANDY can be spelled using just 2 letters. Can you figure out why?

11. Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday or Sunday?

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Cute

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

They told me the big black Lab's name was Reggie as I looked at him lying in his pen. The shelter was clean, no-kill, and the people really friendly. I'd only been in the area for six months, but everywhere I went in the small college town, people were welcoming and open. Everyone waves when you pass them on the street.

But something was still missing as I attempted to settle in to my new life here, and I thought a dog couldn't hurt. Give me someone to talk to. And I had just seen Reggie's advertisement on the local news. The shelter said they had received numerous calls right after, but they said the people who had come down to see him just didn't look like "Lab people," whatever that meant. They must've thought I did.

But at first, I thought the shelter had misjudged me in giving me Reggie and his things, which consisted of a dog pad, bag of toys almost all of which were brand new tennis balls, his dishes, and a sealed letter from his previous owner. See, Reggie and I didn't really hit it off when we got home. We struggled for two weeks (which is how long the shelter told me to give him to adjust to his new home). Maybe it was the fact that I was trying to adjust, too. Maybe we were too much alike.

For some reason, his stuff (except for the tennis balls - he wouldn't go anywhere without two stuffed in his mouth) got tossed in with all of my other unpacked boxes. I guess I didn't really think he'd need all his old stuff, that I'd get him new things once he settled in. but it became pretty clear pretty soon that he wasn't going to.

I tried the normal commands the shelter told me he knew, ones like "sit" and "stay" and "come" and "heel," and he'd follow them - when he felt like it. He never really seemed to listen when I called his name - sure, he'd look in my direction after the fourth of fifth time I said it, but then he'd just go back to doing whatever. When I'd ask again, you could almost see him sigh and then grudgingly obey.

This just wasn't going to work. He chewed a couple shoes and some unpacked boxes. I was a little too stern with him and he resented it, I could tell. The friction got so bad that I couldn't wait for the two weeks to be up, and when it was, I was in full-on search mode for my cellphone amid all of my unpacked stuff. I remembered leaving it on the stack of boxes for the guest room, but I also mumbled, rather cynically, that the "damn dog probably hid it on me."

Finally I found it, but before I could punch up the shelter's number, I also found his pad and other toys from the shelter.. I tossed the pad in Reggie's direction and he snuffed it and wagged, some of the most enthusiasm I'd seen since bringing him home. But then I called, "Hey, Reggie, you like that? Come here and I'll give you a treat." Instead, he sort of glanced in my direction - maybe "glared" is more accurate - and then gave a discontented sigh and flopped down. With his back to me.

Well, that's not going to do it either, I thought. And I punched the shelter phone number.

But I hung up when I saw the sealed envelope. I had completely forgotten about that, too. "Okay, Reggie," I said out loud, "let's see if your previous owner has any advice.".........

_______________________________________

To Whoever Gets My Dog: Well, I can't say that I'm happy you're reading this, a letter I told the shelter could only be opened by Reggie's new owner. I'm not even happy writing it. If you're reading this, it means I just got back from my last car ride with my Lab after dropping him off at the shelter. He knew something was different. I have packed up his pad and toys before and set them by the back door before a trip, but this time... it's like he knew something was wrong. And something is wrong... which is why I have to go to try to make it right.

So let me tell you about my Lab in the hopes that it will help you bond with him and he with you.

First, he loves tennis balls. the more the merrier. Sometimes I think he's part squirrel, the way he hordes them. He usually always has two in his mouth, and he tries to get a third in there. Hasn't done it yet. Doesn't matter where you throw them, he'll bound after it, so be careful - really don't do it by any roads. I made that mistake once, and it almost cost him dearly.

Next, commands. Maybe the shelter staff already told you, but I'll go over them again: Reggie knows the obvious ones - "sit," "stay," "come," "heel." He knows hand signals: "back" to turn around and go back when you put your hand straight up; and "over" if you put your hand out right or left. "Shake" for shaking water off, and "paw" for a high-five. He does "down" when he feels like lying down - I bet you could work on that with him some more. He knows "ball" and "food" and "bone" and "treat" like nobody's business.

I trained Reggie with small food treats. Nothing opens his ears like little pieces of hot dog.

Feeding schedule: twice a day, once about seven in the morning, and again at six in the evening. Regular store-bought stuff; the shelter has the brand.

He's up on his shots. Call the clinic on 9th Street and update his info with yours; they'll make sure to send you reminders for when he's due. Be forewarned: Reggie hates the vet. Good luck getting him in the car - I don't know how he knows when it's time to go to the vet, but he knows.

Finally, give him some time. I've never been married, so it's only been Reggie and me for his whole life. He's gone everywhere with me, so please include him on your daily car rides if you can. He sits well in the backseat, and he doesn't bark or complain. He just loves to be around people, and me most especially.

Which means that this transition is going to be hard, with him going to live with someone new.

And that's why I need to share one more bit of info with you....

His name's not Reggie.

I don't know what made me do it, but when I dropped him off at the shelter, I told them his name was Reggie. He's a smart dog, he'll get used to it and will respond to it, of that I have no doubt. but I just couldn't bear to give them his real name. For me to do that, it seemed so final, that handing him over to the shelter was as good as me admitting that I'd never see him again. And if I end up coming back, getting him, and tearing up this letter, it means everything's fine. But if someone else is reading it, well... well it means that his new owner should know his real name. It'll help you bond with him. Who knows, maybe you'll even notice a change in his demeanor if he's been giving you problems.

His real name is Tank.

Because that is what I drive.

Again, if you're reading this and you're from the area, maybe my name has been on the news. I told the shelter that they couldn't make "Reggie" available for adoption until they received word from my company commander. See, my parents are gone, I have no siblings, no one I could've left Tank with... and it was my only real request of the Army upon my deployment to Iraq, that they make one phone call the the shelter... in the "event"... to tell them that Tank could be put up for adoption. Luckily, my colonel is a dog guy, too, and he knew where my platoon was headed. He said he'd do it personally. And if you're reading this, then he made good on his word.

Well, this letter is getting to downright depressing, even though, frankly, I'm just writing it for my dog. I couldn't imagine if I was writing it for a wife and kids and family. but still, Tank has been my family for the last six years, almost as long as the Army has been my family.

And now I hope and pray that you make him part of your family and that he will adjust and come to love you the same way he loved me.

That unconditional love from a dog is what I took with me to Iraq as an inspiration to do something selfless, to protect innocent people from those who would do terrible things... and to keep those terrible people from coming over here. If I had to give up Tank in order to do it, I am glad to have done so. He was my example of service and of love. I hope I honored him by my service to my country and comrades.

All right, that's enough. I deploy this evening and have to drop this letter off at the shelter. I don't think I'll say another good-bye to Tank, though. I cried too much the first time. Maybe I'll peek in on him and see if he finally got that third tennis ball in his mouth.

Good luck with Tank. Give him a good home, and give him an extra kiss goodnight - every night - from me.

Thank you, Paul Mallory

___________________________________

I folded the letter and slipped it back in the envelope. Sure I had heard of Paul Mallory, everyone in town knew him, even new people like me. Local kid, killed in Iraq a few months ago and posthumously earning the Silver Star when he gave his life to save three buddies. Flags had been at half-mast all summer.

I leaned forward in my chair and rested my elbows on my knees, staring at the dog.

"Hey, Tank," I said quietly.

The dog's head whipped up, his ears cocked and his eyes bright.

"C'mere boy."

He was instantly on his feet, his nails clicking on the hardwood floor. He sat in front of me, his head tilted, searching for the name he hadn't heard in months.

"Tank," I whispered.

His tail swished.

I kept whispering his name, over and over, and each time, his ears lowered, his eyes softened, and his posture relaxed as a wave of contentment just seemed to flood him. I stroked his ears, rubbed his shoulders, buried my face into his scruff and hugged him.

"It's me now, Tank, just you and me. Your old pal gave you to me." Tank reached up and licked my cheek. "So whatdaya say we play some ball? His ears perked again. "Yeah? Ball? You like that? Ball?" Tank tore from my hands and disappeared in the next room.

And when he came back, he had three tennis balls in his mouth.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweat-shirt seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?' 'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?' He yelled back, ' University of Oklahoma ' And they say blondes are dumb...


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~






Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Work Mindset

So here I am at work just relaxing before I have to get back to work from lunch and I thought I'd say 'hello'.


Okay, gotta get back to work now... Ciao!

Monday, July 27, 2009

Hello Friends

I am so exhausted for some random reason!  And I really want to write about something, but sadly nothing's coming to mind.  So, I guess I'll just blab and hopefully something worth reading/writing comes up.


....

Nope, nothing at all... Sorry.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Thursday, July 23, 2009

All time favorite character? Harry

List the books in order from your favorite to your least favorite.

  1. Deathly Hallows
  2. Order of the Pheonix
  3. Half-Blood Prince
  4. Prisoner Of Azkaban
  5. Sorcerers Stone
  6. Goblet of Fire
  7. Chamber of Secrets
List the movies in order from your favorite to your least favorite.
  1. Half-Blood Prince
  2. Order of the Pheonix
  3. Prisoner of Azkaban
  4. Sorcerers Stone
  5. Goblet of Fire
  6. Chamber of Secrets
Favorite chapter from your favorite book? Last battle with Mrs Weasly & Bellatrix... YOU KNOW WHY!

Top 5 favorite characters? (excluding the trio)
  1. Sirius Black
  2. Severus Snape
  3. Bellatrix Lestrange
  4. Albus Dumbledore
  5. Draco Malfoy
  6. Oliver Wood... he's cute man!
5 least favorite characters?
  1. Dolores Umbridge
  2. Gilderoy Lockhart
  3. Peter Pettigrew
  4. Moaning Mertle
  5. Xenophilius Lovegood
Favorite member of the Golden Trio? Hermione Granger

Favorite family? The Weasleys... DUH!

Favorite antagonist? Bellatrix Lestrange... she's funny... "I killed Sirius Black"

Favorite Death Eater? Bellatrix Lestrange

Three favorite spells?
  1. Expecto Patronum
  2. Expelliarmus
  3. Stupefy
Three favorite potions?
  1. Felix Felicis
  2. Veritaserum
  3. Calming Draft
Favorite Non-Hogwarts magical building? Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes

Favorite Diagon Alley shop? Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes

Favorite Hogsmeade Shop? The Three Broomsticks

Favorite Unforgivable Curse? Avada Kedevra

Favorite mode of wizard transportation? Broomstick & Apparition

Favorite Weasley? Ron

Favorite Order Member? Tonks & Sirius

Favorite DA Member? Luna & Hermione

Favorite pet? Owls... Hedwig

Favorite Hogwarts room? Gryffindor Common Room & Room of Requirement

Favorite Hogwarts Professor? Severus Snape & Minerva McGonagall

Favorite non-human Hogwarts resident? Fox the Phoenix

Favorite Tri-Wizard Champion? Harry... DUG... oh and Cedric!

Favorite House Elf? Kreacher, Doby, and Winky

Favorite Wizard sweet? Diagon Alley

Favorite canon couple? Harry and Ginny... and Ron and Hermione! DUH!

Favorite non-canon couple? Harry and Cho... or anyone with the Patel twins...

General Opinions:


Biggest surprise of the series? What Mrs Weasley says to Bellatrix!

Biggest letdown of the series? Hedwig's ... you know!

One character you wish lived? Too many to name... but I guess Siruis & Dumbledore... Snape... Lupin... Tonks... Fred... Hedwig.. Gosh... to many I told you

Your Patronus would be___? A really CUTE ass teacup PUPPY!

Three things Amortentia would smell like to you. something delicious being baked... Thumper... My Pillow!

You would use Felix Felicis to___? My boss when asking for a promo.. haha.. and probably the bf, whenever I want anything.. haha

Job you would most like to try? Auror

Ron/Hermione or Harry/Hermione? Ron/Hermione

James/Lily or Snape/Lily? James/Lily

Do you know which page Dumbledore was killed on? Page 596... chapter 27... I remember I cried, so you'll see my tears there.. lol

Do you think Harry Potter is better than Twilight? A DUH...yeah!!

Are you going to go see the Half Blood Prince in theatres? Already did... midnight showing!

Do you own the books/movies? Everything!

Have you ever played any of the video games? Not really a gamer like that

Don't they kind of suck? ..Wouldn't know...

Do you think it would be cool to have a pet owl? For sure.

How about a rat? Gross!

Have you ever listened to the soundtrack? Yup

Which house would you want to be in? Gryffindor

Do you like Draco? Yes

Would you ever enter the Triwizard Tournament? Nope... I suck man!

Would you keep your money in Gringotts? Where else would I keep it? Bank of America... lol..?

What class would be your favorite? Defense Against the Dark Arts or Transfiguration or Potions

Do you think you would enjoy being a witch/wizard? Always

Monday, July 20, 2009

A man walked into the ladies department of Myer's and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, “I'd like to buy a bra for my wife.” “What type of bra?” asked the clerk. “Type?” inquires the man, “There's more than one type?” “Look around,” said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material imaginable.

“Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of bras to choose from.” Relieved, the man asked about the types. The saleslady replied: “There are the Catholic, the Salvation Army, the Presbyterian, the Baptist types and lastly the German bra. Which one would you prefer?”

Now totally befuddled, the man asked about the differences between them. The Saleslady responded, “It is all really quite simple. The Catholic type supports the masses; The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen; The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright; The Baptist type makes mountains out of molehills; The Germans… well… Holtzemfromfloppen”

Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the letters used to define bra sizes? If you have wondered why, but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for, it is about time you became informed!

{A} Almost Boobs...

{B} Barely there...

{C} Can't Complain!..

{D} Dang!...

{DD} Double dang!...

{E} Enormous!...

{F} Fake...

{G} Get a Reduction...

{H} Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up!

Thursday, July 16, 2009

So Precious!

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Best Friends



Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Tuesday, July 7, 2009


A True Mommie...

Monday, July 6, 2009

So, I've decided to give into the whole Twilight bit, and guess what... I like it. It's so funny. Not what I expected too. As much of an annoyance Jacob is, and his relationship with the Cullens is just hillarious! The only things I've found slightly annoying were Bella and Jacob at random sections of the story. But other than that... FUNNY in a good way!

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Australia has had a record heat wave, resulting in devastating fires.

Koalas, if you don't know, are not social and don't come out of trees or into the suburbs very often. Reason being, under normal circumstances, they don't usually drink water in the normal manner. All their food and water requirements are provided from the eucalyptus leaves that they eat. That's why they sleep about 22 hours of the day because the calories and liquid intake is not enough to keep them awake all day long, however, they consume enormous amounts of leaves in that time. The following photos are even more amazing once that fact is known.

KOALAS DURING THE HEAT WAVE IN AUSTRALIA (2009)

From an Australian citizen: I truly am from a remarkable country! And we have THE cutest animals, (AND some of the most deadly - I know!) but, I thought you would appreciate how cute this is...!

At home in Victoria the temperature has been above 44o C, (about 111o F) all this week and they are forecasting another week of 44o C, (about 104oF) plus temperatures. Power is failing, trains have stopped running because tracks are buckling under the heat . Its just scorching, and it seems that the people are not the only ones suffering.

Check out the following photos of a little Koala which just walked onto a back porch looking for a bit of heat relief. This woman filled up a bucket for it and this is what happened!

;;